I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
