Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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