Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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