Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
