What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
