i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
