I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I skipped work to stalk him.
she looked like the before picture.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
