No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
