She's JV to your varsity
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm sobbing to NWA
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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