The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
