i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
