clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I AM VODKA MAN
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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