She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
