That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
