She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
