dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
