She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
