Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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