i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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