Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
