I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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