I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
