So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
