you would pick up someone in the library
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
