Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
