You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
