is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
