Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You may now shotgun with the bride
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
