I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Randomize
