mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I AM VODKA MAN
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
