I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize