I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
