I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
