She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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