I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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