I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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