So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
