I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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