): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
