We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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