omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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