There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
