Where did you get a picture of my penis
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize