i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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