Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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