heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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