I just made out with a guy for $7.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize