don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
