Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
