I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize