It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
