I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
