He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
