I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
