My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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