Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just had sex on a roof
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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