Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
