I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
