god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
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