I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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